kill vehicle

I’ve been making a lot of cocoa over the past year or so. Partially I blame Pete. When he was actively Atkins-ing he tended to rhapsodize about how wonderful a mug of cocoa with Splenda was. He’s right, so I got into the habit too. It helps that Mon Aimee in the Strip has very good Dutch-processed Guittard chocolate for something absurdly cheap like $4/lb, so I can make fancy cocoa as often as I like without really worrying about the cost.

The way I make cocoa has changed as I’ve discovered what I really like, and I’m pretty happy with the current method. It’s really a pretty loose recipe, shifting around to be soothing or spicy, thick and creamy or light and soft, etc, etc.

A few things stay the same each time: there’s always about a quart of milk, always about six tablespoons of cocoa powder, always some molasses, always some vanilla. The other seasonings vary wildly, including anything from cinnamon and nutmeg to powdered chipotle and star anise.

Anyway, this is how I made cocoa tonight:

Measure out a quart of milk into a medium saucepan and put it over low heat. You’ll want to stir this occasionally but can mostly ignore it.

Start some water boiling; this is part of the cocoa-and-spices base, which you’ll make while the water heats up. You don’t need a huge amount — maybe a cup or so.

Dump the following into a small saucepan:

• Six tablespoons of cocoa powder; more if you like chocolate overload like Pete does, less if you want a less assertive flavor.
• Four tablespoons of dark brown sugar. At first, you might want to try adding less and then sweetening to taste once the whole mixture is together. It took me a while to figure out just how sweet I liked the cocoa.
• One tablespoon of tapioca flour. I like my cocoa slightly thicker than milk, and tapioca has a more subtle flavor than cornstarch. If you want your cocoa to be more pudding-like, add another tablespoon or so. You can skip this entirely if you like thin cocoa, but you shouldn’t.
• A pinch of salt. Everything needs a little salt to taste better.
• A generous amount of black pepper. I use about 10-15 grinds of my peppermill. This gives the flavor a little bit of bite, but won’t make it noticeably peppery. Trust me.
• Five good grates of nutmeg on a microplane grater. I have no idea how much this corresponds to if you’re using jarred ground nutmeg. On the other hand, if you’re using pre-ground nutmeg, go out to a good spice store right now and get whole nutmeg to grate yourself. You have absolutely no idea how much better it will taste, and it’ll last forever.
• Fifteen good grates of cinnamon on a microplane grater. If you’re using ground cinnamon, see the bit about nutmeg and get yourself some cinnamon sticks. There’s no comparison.

Whisk these together until they’re more-or-less smooth. This doesn’t need to be even close to perfect.

That’s it for the solids. Now, liquids:

• About a teaspoon and a half of vanilla extract.
• One tablespoon of honey. Maybe a little less; it’s really more of a short pour than anything measured.
• One tablespoon of molasses. This is another maybe-a-tablespoon-maybe-less pour. Kind of pain in the winter, when it’s as slow as, uh, molasses in January, but this deepens the flavor a bit.

Whisk the liquids in. Again, doesn’t have to be perfect.

When the water boils, which should be about now, pour about a half cup in and whisk until incorporated. It should look like thick pudding and have some lumps.

At this point, I like to add an ounce or two of good bittersweet chocolate — Valrhona, Scharffen Berger, El Rey, something like that. Mix it in to the base; it’ll melt a bit but not completely, so add in another half cup of water and whisk to incorporate.

Now that the base is together, put it over medium heat to bring it to a boil. I like to believe this lets the flavors combine and smooth out. At the very least it smells great. You’ll want to stir this with the whisk pretty regularly, scraping the bottom and sides of the pan so that nothing burns.

When it gets close to the boil, you’ll see it thicken up and look more like pudding — this is the tapioca kicking in. Pay more attention to stirring it now.

As it starts to bubble, lower the heat so it doesn’t boil over. I like to stir it at the boil for a minute or so to thicken it further.

Once the base is as thick as you’d like, take it off the heat and whisk it in with the milk. You have been paying attention to the milk through this, right?

From here on in, you’ll want to stir it occasionally and keep heating it until it’s as piping hot as you want. You probably want to taste-test it now and make sure it’s sweet enough.

When it’s the right taste and temperature, pull it off the heat and pour it into a thermos. You’ll have a little more than a quart, so if you have a one-quart thermos like I do, be careful about that.

All written out, it seems freakishly complicated, but in practice it takes me about 20-25 fairly relaxed minutes of cooking.

I’m enjoying a mug of it right now with a shot of Irish cream mixed in. It’s pretty good with rum or vanilla vodka too.